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Re: What Not To Do (1)
This is well written, however, more details could be added. We are barely introduced to the MC, and all we know is that she isn't the greatest at Chemistry, and ...
Sep 4, 2010 -
Re: How to Seduce Money [1]
I just thought I'd inform you that I am attempting to review your piece on my iPod Touch, and if there are any spelling errors, it's this stupid keypad, along ...
Apr 10, 2010 -
Re: The day YWS stood still.
Haha! I love it, LPR! Wait! I have one thing to point out! They ran into several YWS-people, including; Nate, Kamas, silented, Lethero, Scarlet, Bolt, Juniper, Ben, Biffle, Kaedee, Temtations ...
Apr 10, 2010 -
Re: Super lame. Super lame.
"You know—" the red head began while setting her legs on the table. "—you could just stop going after this title, Ms. Hollow." Commas could be used instead of hyphens. ...
Apr 4, 2010 -
Re: Martha's Baby
Ohmygoodness! I love this! It's really entertaining! The old man sounds like my grandpa, pulling a stunt like that. I didn't see any errors, and your writing is really detailed. ...
Apr 4, 2010 -
Re: New Story hope you like "you're not cute when you cry"
"Elena[,] come down stairs it's time for dinner!" There should be a comma after Elena. "Ok Mom[,] I’m coming!" I tried pulling it back to show my face better it ...
Apr 4, 2010 -
Re: Mistress:Prologue (rated 18+ explicit scenes)
Definitely keep it, I really like what you've done so far. I look forward to reading more. :) Please message me when you update it. :D
Apr 1, 2010 -
Re: Blue Princess#1
I don't want to be too picky, but this is supposed to be a review, but I hope I don't bore you with mistakes, and things that could be improved. ...
May 26, 2008 -
Re: A Clean Bite--Chapter 1 part 1 [rewrite]
It was great, although I am going to point out three minor errors. 1. ...light lavender color, who paints there house lavender.. There means to go somewhere, I.E. You stand ...
May 23, 2008 -
Re: Fast Lane
I really liked this story, perhaps one of my favorites. Anyway, I would like to point out one thing. “Why do I listen to you again?” She whispered. It didn't ...
May 22, 2008 -
Re: When dawn arrives
Instead of explaining the emphasism, you could use italics , or bold the world. Also, it could use a bit of revising grammar wise. I liked it. Very detailed. I ...
May 21, 2008 -
Re: Plain Extraordinary
I really like this. It is catching. Reminds me of a book I read, but it doesn't copy it. I think a bit more detail would bring you more readers, ...
May 20, 2008 -
Re: First Night: Pool
I really enjoyed this story, although the spacing was kind of weird. It was really detailed which I like, and it kept me reading. I think that you should really ...
May 20, 2008 -
Re: Bad Girls Need Love Too
When Celia's mother hugged her, and said "I love you," I nearly cried. I could feel my tears welling up. This is a great story, keep up the good work. ...
May 20, 2008 -
Re: The Day He Left - Chapter One-
Ignoring the spelling and grammar errors, I'd say that this was an amazing piece of writing. It was very detailed, and stuff like that draws the reader in, and helps ...
May 7, 2008
